Back to the Estate

[hattie_notqueen]

The ride from Maine via Kobie and portkeys wasn't exactly uncomfortable, but she DID let the Three Thousand drive since she was more worried about Kitt than what was going on on the roads.

As he pulled through the gates onto the large property, Hattie looked up and out the windshield briefly, then leaned over to run her fingers through Kitt's hair. "We're home, Kitt. We'll figure something out here."

She jumped out at the front door and let Kobie take him to the garage, going inside and asking for the butler and the gardener. If she could, she was going to avoid lifting Kitt into the house by herself. Not because she couldn't, but because she was fairly certain that she'd draw more talk NOT asking help than if she did.

Once he was settled on the bed, she thanked the staff and shut the bedroom doors. Then, she stood there and stared at the prone body of her husband.

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[ki2k.insanejournal.com]

He slumped down to sit on the stairs, rubbing a hand down his face, then cupped his chin in the same hand, resting his elbow on his knee and staring out into space.

[hattie_notqueen.insanejournal.com]

For her part, Hattie was clutching the pillow to her chest, trying to keep from crying too loudly. Finally, she stood and pulled a different bag out of the closet and began to pack.

When it was full, she walked into the hall and chucked it toward the stairs before heading into Gideon's room to pack for him, too.

[ki2k.insanejournal.com]

It hit him in the back, knocking him off-balance so that he had to catch himself before he tumbled down the stairs. He didn't say anything. He knew what she was doing. Instead, he carried the bag back up the stairs to their bedroom and began to unpack it. If she was going to leave, fine. She'd have to re-pack. And while she was doing that, he'd unpack Gideon's things, because he knew that if she left, she was taking the baby.

Maybe he'd just go ahead and pack HIS things, too, while he was at it.

[hattie_notqueen.insanejournal.com]

Hattie was in the middle of packing Gideon's bag when she remembered that she'd left the diaper bag downstairs. Plus, his favorite blanket was in their bedroom.

She went back across the hall to their room and stopped short when she saw Kitt putting her shirts back in the dresser. "What are you DOING?"

[ki2k.insanejournal.com]

"You and Gideon belong here." He started swapping out her shirts for his. "With Kobie. He can protect you. I already have a place to go, so I will be the one to leave."

[hattie_notqueen.insanejournal.com]

"Clearly I can't be trusted with the super-secret cars around here," she snapped, reaching to take her bag back from him. "Give me that. Besides, where are YOU going to go? That shack in Maine?"

[ki2k.insanejournal.com]

He snatched it away from her grasp, staring at her. "What are you talking about?" He shook his head. "Kobie's not a liability. And if you must know, yes, I'm going to my shack, as you call it, in Maine. If that's all right with you, of course."

[hattie_notqueen.insanejournal.com]

"No. No, it's not okay with me. Kobie is not my-" She glared at him. "You're right. He's not a liability. But Kitt? Here? On EARTH? Right up until fifteen seconds ago, there wasn't anyone I trusted to keep me safe more than you."

She let go of the bag and curled her hands into fists. "Not. Even. Cam."

Then she spun on her heel and headed for the door.

[ki2k.insanejournal.com]

He hurled the bag across the room, clothes and all, not caring that it took a lamp out along the way. Then he sat down on the bed with his head in his hands. Kobie wasn't a liability because Kobie could defend himself, and Hattie, better than he himself could. Why only fifteen seconds ago? Whether by her words or by her actions, he'd felt incompetent for much longer than that.

[hattie_notqueen.insanejournal.com]

She turned when the lamp crashed and stared at him. "Have you lost-" She looked at the broken lamp and then back at him. "KITT! What is wrong with you? I can't- I don't wanna do this anymore. I can't. I've never fought like this before. I've never had anyone angry at me like this before. I don't know-"

Hattie couldn't help it. She started to cry again. "Do what you want. I don't care. I just-" She shook her head and opened the door. "Whatever."

[ki2k.insanejournal.com]

"And I have never had anyone, ANYONE, question my abilities before. My competence. I have never had anyone make me feel so useless as you have succeeded in doing. Not only do I have to live with the fact that I will never be able to live up to Cam, I also have to deal with the fact that you think of me as a liability. And why? Because I can't - I won't - kill. As if that is the ONLY way to protect someone. But when I make the decision to eliminate my weaknesses, I get told that you won't allow it. That I'm not the person you thought I was."

He turned to face her, his eyes cold. "You can't have it both ways, Hattie. I can't have it both ways."

[hattie_notqueen.insanejournal.com]

"That wasn't-" She stared at him. "That wasn't what I meant at all. You're not useless, Kitt. You've never been useless." She walked back toward him. "What does Cam have to do with any of this? You guys don't even fall into the same category. He's a pilot and a fighter. From what I understood, and correct me if I'm wrong, but you were never meant to BE a fighter, Kitt. And yeah, maybe I don't want you to BE that way. Maybe I like you the way you are."

She sighed, stopping at the foot of the bed. "I never thought you were a liability because you wouldn't kill someone, Kitt. I just don't think I can take a Trans-Am into the equivalent of medieval Europe." She waved a hand. "If you think killing people will make you a better you, who am I to say no, right? Maybe you need a better driver."

[ki2k.insanejournal.com]

"Yes, yes, he's a fighter, and like this, I'm too weak to do anything but stand by and watch and have people defend me. Because THAT'S what I was meant for, of course. What if I don't like that about myself, hmm?" He turned again, crossing the room to begin picking up the scattered clothing and tossing the items towards the bed.

"Of course. And you can't take me as a human because I'm a liability. Because you don't trust me to keep you safe. I understand. It's fine." He very nearly ripped in two the shirt he was holding. "And where do you propose I find another driver, Hattie? Please."

[hattie_notqueen.insanejournal.com]

"Advertise."

She took the shirt from his hands, possibly ripping it in the process. "How many times do I have to say 'training'? It applies to Cam, too. But, hey. If you don't like that about yourself, then do what you want, Kitt. I'm obviously nobody and have no opinion that won't get me yelled at or hated by my *husband*. So, go. Have Kobie rewrite your programming and be whatever will make you happiest."

Throwing the shirt onto the bed, she looked up at him. "I don't care."

[ki2k.insanejournal.com]

He slapped his forehead in mock disbelief. "Of COURSE! Why didn't I think of that? Advertise who and what I am so that all of Knight Industries can find out, too!" He shook his head, grumbling under his breath.

He snorted again. "You think I hate you. Brilliant. You cut me down and yet I supposedly hate you. That's a good one. Training. You don't even want to work with me on Earth, much less anywhere else. What's the point? No, wait, wait. What is your opinion of me, exactly? Either I'm competent or I'm not. At this point, I can't even remember anymore."

She didn't care. Well that made two of them.

[hattie_notqueen.insanejournal.com]

Her flippant remark had been an indication of how much she cared about him finding a new driver. But now that he'd mentioned it seriously... "You know, if you're a bit more discreet about it, I'm sure you'd have a gaggle of people willing to jump at the chance to work with or for you."

She made a disgusted sound. "I've said before that I'd work with you here. It's YOU that doesn't want me to work. I might get hurt. Someone might DO something to me. God, Kitt. What do you WANT from me?"

[ki2k.insanejournal.com]

"Except you." He started folding the shirts and other clothing that were strewn across the bed, for lack of anything better to do with his hands. Maybe the remark was hurtful, maybe it wasn't, but it seemed true enough to him. Apparently, they just... couldn't work together.

He straightened up, pointing a finger at her. "NO. No, that is NOT what I've said. Yes, pardon me for being worried that you might be hurt. Heaven forbid something like that should concern me! But I've NEVER said I didn't want to work with you. It seems to me that you're the one finding excuses as to why we can't, even here." He hated the caveat at the end. "And you've pretty much absolutely said you don't want to work with me out there." He pointed now in the general direction of... out there. "We're back to me being a liability, aren't we?"

That was going to stay with him for a long time, he knew it.

[hattie_notqueen.insanejournal.com]

"I never said I wouldn't work with you, especially here." She looked down at his finger and then watched as he pointed into... nowhere, and sank onto the bed. "You mean when I said there'd be training? God, Kitt, do you even know what that entails? What it means to go 'out there'? I mean, sure, you aim for diplomacy, but some people don't want to hear it."

So tired now, she lay back on the bed and closed her eyes. "I wish I could explain how I was just... worried. Worried about things going wrong. I mean, you hope for the best and plan for the worst. And with you, there's just no way to make you happy. Protect your ass and I'm STILL in the wrong."

She shook her head, her eyes burning. "It doesn't matter. It wasn't even about going out there-" She waved her hand out in that direction, too. "I just wanted to see if the gate even EXISTED." A pause. "It does, by the way."

[ki2k.insanejournal.com]

"But the moment I express the least bit of concern, that's the end of it. You're finished." So it didn't really matter then, did it? He shut his eyes, clenching his fists at his sides as he counted to ten. Twenty. "Now how would I know what it entails if you're so gung ho about keeping me from finding out?" Why shouldn't he be able to handle the training? Perhaps it just wouldn't be a good idea to train with her.

He shook his head, looking to the ceiling, counting again as his fingers flexed. "There's no give and take, Hattie. All you ever talk about is how YOU have to protect ME. And that if your life is on the line, I can't be trusted to return the favor. Why should I be happy about that? When I propose a solution, YOU'RE not happy. What do YOU want from ME?"

His eyes narrowed suddenly as he looked down at her, lying on the bed. "I see."

[hattie_notqueen.insanejournal.com]

"What do you mean, keep you from finding out? I said training, three pm, remember?" Of course he didn't. HE was too busy being RIGHTEOUS. And then he was bringing it up. Again. And she opened her eyes and looked at him. "That's not it at all. I just don't think that you should HAVE to kill someone, go against what you were created to be. Do you? Do you REALLY? Because if you REALLY think that, Kitt? I'm not going to stop you. Not at all."

And when his eyes narrowed, she rolled hers. "Don't."

[ki2k.insanejournal.com]

"Oh, I remember. I just don't think it's a good idea for me to train with you." So much for his righteousness making him forget.

"No, I don't. But if I don't, you don't want me there. Either way, I lose."

He shook his head, the look on his face saying much more than any words he could form.

[hattie_notqueen.insanejournal.com]

Hattie lay there with her eyes on him for over a minute. She wasn't entirely sure what to say or where things should go from here. Taking a deep breath, she closed her eyes, then opened the before rolling off the bed and standing again, fixing her clothes.

"Kitt, you're right. I don't want you there. I don't want to be there. I just wanted to know if it existed. That was all." The smile she gave him was sad. "You don't want to train with me, then don't. You want to mess with your programming?" She gave a shrug. "Who am I to tell you no?" She spread her hands wide. "I can't change your mind, I can't say I'm sorry, I can't-" She shook her head, giving a laugh that was absolutely humorless. "I can't DO anything."

Reaching into her ear, she pulled out the earwig that kept her tied to Kobie and placed it on the nightstand. "There. I'm sure he'll be more than happy to hear from you." On her way to the door, she said, "I'm... "

What? What could she do? Go for a drive? Nope, she didn't have a car. Turning back to Kitt, she held up her hands. "I guess I'm going to go for a walk."

[ki2k.insanejournal.com]

"I thought we were going to find out together." What, she couldn't have waited a few more days? It wasn't like it was going anywhere! He shrugged and turned away, realizing the futility of arguing over it. It was done. He gritted his teeth. "You're my" - don't drop the F bomb, don't drop the F bomb - "driver, that's who." Because like it or not, right at the moment, she WAS still his driver. For now. Until he remedied that little difficulty because she'd made it clear it was no longer something she wished to do.

He had no certain idea of what the earwig was, having never seen it before, but he could make a very good educated guess, and fervently hoped that Kobie hadn't been listening in. It would be awkward to explain what had happened, at the very least, and impossible at best.

He nodded, not trying to stop her. He was still undecided as to his own course of action.

[hattie_notqueen.insanejournal.com]

"You. Left." She made sure that she enunciated the words with perfect clarity. "You LEFT, Kitt. You didn't call. I didn't know where you were. And by the time I found you? You were a MESS. I didn't know if you were coming back!"

She crossed her arms over her chest. "You're right. I'm your driver because no one else is. Because you're stuck with me. I'm sorry about that, too, okay? I'll help you find someone better or whatever. Someone you can go be all heroic and save-the-world with. Deal? Then you don't have to worry about me anymore."

[ki2k.insanejournal.com]

"And so naturally the thing to do is go look for the Stargate. Because it wouldn't have waited for a while longer." He waved a hand dismissively. Whatever, he didn't feel like bothering. He WAS beginning to wish he hadn't been found, though.

"Oh, that's right, I forgot. You know what's best for me. You know exactly what I want. Perhaps you're right this time. It's ironic - you're so concerned about me not changing my programming for your sake, and then you go and make fun of it. Well, Hattie, fine. It's a deal."