Hattie has gotten to the point where she looks back on her youth as a time that perhaps shouldn't be looked back on. After all, in her current state, there is no one to talk to about it.
She misses him. As much as she wants to move forward in her life, she does miss him. So much of her daily life was wrapped up in him that it seems odd to not be able to turn to him for every little thing that goes wrong. She knows now that she became far too dependent on him, probably in a way that wasn't healthy.
When she was very little and upset with her father or some new imposed rule, she'd run to him for comfort. He was always the one person she could talk to that she felt wouldn't judge her. He always listened and helped her see reason in whatever it was that was bothering her.
As she moved into her teen years, she felt no embarrassement whatsoever in going to him with problems that she couldn't go to her father with. Especially after she knew her father was seeing/sleeping with Vala, she didn't feel comfortable going to Vala with what she felt were some of the more intimate details of her life. Not because she didn't like Vala, but because she knew that her father treated Vala as his own confidante and she couldn't risk what she was saying getting back to him. The ship WAS small.
When she realized she had feelings for Cameron Mitchell that extended beyond just the normal 'friendship' or even 'crush', the only person she could talk to was the same person she had told every single detail of her life so far: Teal'c.
Whether it was during a sparring match, a meal, a talk in quarters or even a rare jog (as she usually jogged with Cam), she spent a few hours every day with him. It stood to reason that he knew more about her than anyone else on the ship. Grandpa Landry was deemed too old, Vala was out for reasons already discussed, her dad is an obvious no, Cam was someone she ended up seeing as more than a friend and Carter was someone that Hattie looked up to and worked with. Teal'c was the only choice for a confidant of her own.
She was lucky that, when it came time to reverse time, she got to keep her confidant. Because Teal'c's memories remained intact as well, once they were back at the SGC, she was able to continue to talk to him and really had no use for the SGC psychiatrist (whom she was forced to see).
Unfortunately, this has resulted in her having a hard time in confiding in almost anyone else about her past. She has someone who knows, literally, EVERYTHING about her. From the time she was two years old to her current situation, he's seen her every single day of her life until five months ago. Telling someone new all of that would be tedious and, to Hattie, a waste of time. Most people aren't friends like Teal'c and, she theorizes, not going to stick around anyway.
Then she met Kitt. Who knows a good portion of it and, even though he can't really HELP it, holds her previous actual 'relationship' against her. He doesn't like Cam, even though he's never met him, and she just KNOWS that if she told him about Teal'c it would probably be worse than someone she slept with. Someone who knows every single one of your personal secrets is far more dangerous than someone who knows your body.
Hattie Jackson
Stargate OC
640 Words
She misses him. As much as she wants to move forward in her life, she does miss him. So much of her daily life was wrapped up in him that it seems odd to not be able to turn to him for every little thing that goes wrong. She knows now that she became far too dependent on him, probably in a way that wasn't healthy.
When she was very little and upset with her father or some new imposed rule, she'd run to him for comfort. He was always the one person she could talk to that she felt wouldn't judge her. He always listened and helped her see reason in whatever it was that was bothering her.
As she moved into her teen years, she felt no embarrassement whatsoever in going to him with problems that she couldn't go to her father with. Especially after she knew her father was seeing/sleeping with Vala, she didn't feel comfortable going to Vala with what she felt were some of the more intimate details of her life. Not because she didn't like Vala, but because she knew that her father treated Vala as his own confidante and she couldn't risk what she was saying getting back to him. The ship WAS small.
When she realized she had feelings for Cameron Mitchell that extended beyond just the normal 'friendship' or even 'crush', the only person she could talk to was the same person she had told every single detail of her life so far: Teal'c.
Whether it was during a sparring match, a meal, a talk in quarters or even a rare jog (as she usually jogged with Cam), she spent a few hours every day with him. It stood to reason that he knew more about her than anyone else on the ship. Grandpa Landry was deemed too old, Vala was out for reasons already discussed, her dad is an obvious no, Cam was someone she ended up seeing as more than a friend and Carter was someone that Hattie looked up to and worked with. Teal'c was the only choice for a confidant of her own.
She was lucky that, when it came time to reverse time, she got to keep her confidant. Because Teal'c's memories remained intact as well, once they were back at the SGC, she was able to continue to talk to him and really had no use for the SGC psychiatrist (whom she was forced to see).
Unfortunately, this has resulted in her having a hard time in confiding in almost anyone else about her past. She has someone who knows, literally, EVERYTHING about her. From the time she was two years old to her current situation, he's seen her every single day of her life until five months ago. Telling someone new all of that would be tedious and, to Hattie, a waste of time. Most people aren't friends like Teal'c and, she theorizes, not going to stick around anyway.
Then she met Kitt. Who knows a good portion of it and, even though he can't really HELP it, holds her previous actual 'relationship' against her. He doesn't like Cam, even though he's never met him, and she just KNOWS that if she told him about Teal'c it would probably be worse than someone she slept with. Someone who knows every single one of your personal secrets is far more dangerous than someone who knows your body.
Hattie Jackson
Stargate OC
640 Words
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