Shutting down was better than flying off the handle, right?
He heard the words, but already had counter-arguments. She said that now, but what about when she was older, and realized she'd wasted the best years of her life puttering around a too-large house? Where was the intellectual stimulation? She'd resent him, resent the fact that he'd held her back. Maybe not today, but he was sure it was coming at some point down the road. He wasn't Cam, or Teal'c, and he couldn't be the person that she needed to be able to rely on. So instead he'd wallow in self-pity and convince himself that she could do better. That she SHOULD have done better.
His laugh was bitter, muffled against the pillows. "Maybe I'm not." What did he want from her? He wished he could read his own mind to tell her that, too, because he had no idea. "But it's a little too late for that now, isn't it?" He had responsibilities. More than that, he had emotions that were far more intense than anything he'd experienced as an AI. He couldn't go back to that, not permanently.
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Date: 2009-02-22 01:45 am (UTC)He heard the words, but already had counter-arguments. She said that now, but what about when she was older, and realized she'd wasted the best years of her life puttering around a too-large house? Where was the intellectual stimulation? She'd resent him, resent the fact that he'd held her back. Maybe not today, but he was sure it was coming at some point down the road. He wasn't Cam, or Teal'c, and he couldn't be the person that she needed to be able to rely on. So instead he'd wallow in self-pity and convince himself that she could do better. That she SHOULD have done better.
His laugh was bitter, muffled against the pillows. "Maybe I'm not." What did he want from her? He wished he could read his own mind to tell her that, too, because he had no idea. "But it's a little too late for that now, isn't it?" He had responsibilities. More than that, he had emotions that were far more intense than anything he'd experienced as an AI. He couldn't go back to that, not permanently.